Who Decides What is Beautiful?

As I get older, I am increasingly frustrated with the expected standard of beauty. I think we can all agree that the media has a lot to do with our skewed idea of what we should look like and sadly it brainwashes far too many people. This creates such a vicious cycle. It also creates a lot of angst in those that society deems average or worse. When is this bullshit going to change?

I’ve been thinking on and off about this for a while and I’ve got a couple of points I want to make.

First Point.

Women of a certain age. TBH this could cover women of any age but as a “woman of a certain age”, I will attack it from my perspective. Some women want to embrace their age and do so gracefully. For whatever reason, they decide to stop colouring their hair and let their grey/white natural highlights or coverage shine. I’ve done this myself and I quite enjoy saving money, plus it looks quite nice. Whatever their reason for doing it, I say “fuck YEAH! You go, girlfriend! Rock that shit!”

I have also (and am currently) colouring my hair, the reason for doing it was I simply felt like a change. Just like when I was young, I’d often change my hair colour just to do something different. The bottom line is it’s my hair and my choice. I get pissed off when the media try and tell me in one way or another that, “no, that’s not what you should do.” FUCK YOU!

But you know what? They’re not the only ones attacking our confidence. There are also people out there who are in the “grow old gracefully” camp who come up and make comments to undermine those who choose to colour their hair (or do whatever that’s flying in the face of aging). WHY? I demand to know WHY!!! I think this is pitiful. We can’t win. Ever.

I love women who “grow old gracefully” and embrace the changes that come naturally, and to a degree, I AM one of those women but I equally love women who want to do something like colour their hair or have little tweaks with the magic injections etc. Who the hell am I to judge someone else’s choice? It’s the height of rudeness in my book.

Do you want to know what inspires me the most? It’s when a woman chooses to do or not do something to her hair/body/face because it makes HER FEEL GOOD! That’s what matters, not point scoring and big noting.

Second Point.

Cosmetic changes. First, a confession. One of my guilty pleasures is watching certain reality television shows. Reality shows are good for INFJs because when you have so much whirling in your brain and you can’t think straight, the best thing to do is sit in front of a screen and watch something mindless. Cooking shows? Nope. DIY shows? Nope. I like things like “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” (Australian version) and The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise (Australian ones). The latter is my current guilty pleasure. Why? It’s the DRAAAAAAMMMAAAA, my friends. Admittedly, I often need some tequila or valium after each episode because it can be too much but I cannot wait for the next episode.

It’s easy to see that a number of the female (and possibly male) seekers of romance (?) have had “some work done”. And herein lies my dilemma. I don’t have any issue with them having work done cosmetically, I say good on them for knowing what they want and doing it. If it makes them feel good about themselves, more power to them. BUT. I feel uneasy when they take it a step too far. Too often we see women mostly, who have something done and they still don’t feel it’s enough and then add to it. This results in them looking more like caricatures of themselves. We’re all familiar with “duck lips”, this is often where they go wrong. Sometimes less IS more. In saying that, it is their journey and again, their choice so I try not to be too harsh.

In this installment of Bachelor in Paradise (first time in Australia), we see Keira. She’s recently been having some cosmetic surgery and believes she looks natural. Most of it does look good, her lips have let her down. I always thought she was a lovely looking young woman and didn’t need anything done. But her choice and I fully support that, she needs to feel happy with herself. I just feel she’s gone overboard with her lips though. I often wonder if she’s at that point where she’s stopped seeing what’s in front of her and keeps needing more done? I hope not.

My point in all of this is why do we cut down people who have had cosmetic surgery? Some people have to due to accidents and the like but what about others? Again, I feel that it’s up to the individual whether they have any work done. I’m not against it at all. It makes no difference if you’re 60+ or 25 years old, if it makes YOU feel good, then go for it.

Again…can we just let everyone decide for themselves whether they want to make a change to their body or face? It really is nobody’s business what anyone else changes and whether it’s done with a scalpel or injection.

Would I ever have any cosmetic change? Yeah sure, if I was able to afford it easily and wanted to do it for myself. I have some things I’d like to tweak, for me, it’s more for physical comfort than to be aesthetically pleasing. Though I will admit, I wouldn’t mind having injections to freshen up my face, nothing that’s going to freeze my expressions or lift my eyebrows into my hairline – just to make me look less tired. I can’t readily afford anything and it falls into the “life’s luxuries” category so it would only happen if I won enough money to throw at a cosmetic surgeon.

But let’s lift each other up, no group has the answer to life and nobody has the right to judge individual choices. I think it’s time we as a society stopped dragging others down.






Blogger and Professional OverThinker.

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